Choices
I can do whatever I want. Whatever. Anything. That’s such a scary, frightening thought that I don’t let myself think like that. I place value on things like career, lack of criminal record, savings, friends, family, and even sanity. But I feel like I’m always given myself options in life, always planning for the what if. Always know the escape route in situations. That’s great, right?
Well, I’m now feeling like that’s becoming a burden. Instead of accepting my chosen path, I’m often wondering if that escape route doesn’t lead to Never Never Land. And when I do that, I begin to forget why I chose what I did and only see the negatives. I almost feel like it’d be better if I didn’t have choices, if I had some ultimatum that kept me from wondering what if.
For instance, let’s say I had a kid. I would have to take care of it. I couldn’t even consider that escape hatch. Instead of worrying about passed opportunities, I would focus on making my situation better.
The lesson being I need to get some chick knocked up.